Funky rollers 22. Ghost turd The closest you get to craping while standing up Toot Ben Franklin was quoted as saying, “Fart proudly.” And Louis C.K. 135. From regional terms to old-timey phrases, here are 25 ways to say fart that you should work into conversation whenever toots come up. Stay in the back of an elevator until a few people enter and say “I’ve Been Expecting You”. Parp Ass blaster 218. Release a squeeker Make a trumpet of one’s ass (John Milton) Eggy Methane Bomb 54. Tail wind Blasting the ass trumpet 123. Burnin’ rubber Shit vapor Free Jacuzi 184. What the dog did Cut the wind, 71. Let one go 232. Honk Bottom blast 91. Stress release Backfire 244. Playing the trouser tuba 107. Cheek flapper 253. 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Break the sound barrier without a plane And for more great jokes, check out these 50 Amazing Jokes You Can Text to Friends. Fizzler Blow mud 149. This term, from the early 1900s, means “a small act of breaking wind”—in other words, a tiny toot. Odorama It’s low tide Nostril announcing the arrival of Gen. Shat Cut a stinker 31. 249. And while fart jokes and puns may make for some cringe-worthy moments, they represent a great comedy tradition. The most popular color? 87. Blast off Letting one rip Shit fumes What to Say When You Fart There is a US Airforce custom of saying, "Howdy!" 258. Toot your own horn 163. What makes fart jokes and puns so funny is the way they tease out a universal human experience. Great brown cloud Being a kid is great, because you can embarrass your parents as much as you want without feeling even slightly bad about it. This isn’t technically a slang term for a fart, but it is toot-adjacent, and we couldn’t resist including it: It’s the “flaring effect produced by breaking wind next to a lit match,” and reportedly comes from college campuses in the late ‘80s. Age is definitely a state of mind! It’s not the only cheese-related fart term, either: Perhaps you’ve asked “Who cut the cheese?” when you’ve smelled a particularly nasty odor. Drop a bomb The scuttlebutt was really the only place to do it. Under burp 199. 254. 169. Rimshot In early 1600s, the word foist was used to describe something that smelled less than fresh—and before that, in the late 1500s, it was a verb meaning “to break wind silently.” In other words, a more polite way to describe flatulence that’s silent but deadly. A ‘40s term for “a stench, [especially] a fart,” according to Green’s. Farting knows no borders: every person from every corner of the globe breaks wind. Ass whistle, 19. Archived. Casual conversation is home to a variety of prompts. Poot 12. Cut the cheese hide. 1. Whoever smelt it dealt it Cut loose The limping man looked at them with pity and said--"you thought it was arthritis and you are wrong, you think it"s a wooden leg and you're wrong, I thought it was a fart and I was wrong". Air bagel I’d share mine, but I do have some pride left. 192. 17. Telegraph from Ft. A-hole to Cmdr. Scientists, by the way, have determined that the median weight of a fart is around 90 milliliters. Free-floating anal vapors Shit honker Float an air biscuit 206. 240. Lay a wind loaf 134. 174. Methane production experiment Trouser cough 248. What's the funniest thing to say after a burp or fart? The F bomb Don’t call it a fart; call it a bottom burp. This page is meant to help you find the funniest Fart Jokes. Heinus anus 15. 222. Flapper Make a stink As a bonus, “Empty house is better than a bad tenant” is what you say in New Zealand after you’ve farted in public. “What’s the scuttlebutt?” you’d say, for example, and then they’d reply with the solicited scuttlebutt. Q: What do you call a fart? Take a look at this hilarious list of embarrassing kid quotes to see what we mean. 76. Turn on the A/C in your large intestine 132. 36. Grandpa Green’s notes that this is “generally a children’s usage,” but it was “popularized on BBC TV’s 1980s comedy The Young Ones.”. 165. 92. 64. 24 Absolutely Funny Sayings About Old Age to Tickle Your Ribs. Dolores O'Riordan Ignition Brown thunder 221. Exploding bottom 59. 156. Drop a barking spider Doorknob 108. They might not save you, but they definitely won't make things any worse. 223. Sphincter song Farting in public is embarrassing, of course, but it's arguably better than the alternative: Holding in a fart could cause the gas to leak out of your mouth. Crimp off some breakfast biscuits Step on a duck Fire the retro-rocket 176. You might feel alone, but there are so many ways to connect now online and enjoy some company for a while.The most beloved of these platforms is Zoom, an easy group cam and chat app. 6. 207. Wanna be funny as well as sound genuine? Women’s asses are typically larger than men’s asses because their estrogen causes fat to accumulate on their asses, instead of on their stomachs.Source Beep your horn Kaboom 150. Natty Blissful (farting man), Sudowoodo (speech bubble) // iStock via Getty Images Plus. 103. 141. 41. Party in your pants 120. The most common funny fart sayings material is ceramic. Skunk smells his own smell first! Painting the elevator Everybody Farts! 40. 26. Gas blaster 1. 193. 142. Step on a frog Anal volcano Rotting vegetation 166. 124. 30. Close. Ripple fart 45. 58. 158. K-Fart But what exactly is scuttlebutt, and why did it become associated with idle water cooler talk? The third state of matter You might ask someone how they’re doing, what’s new, or if they’ve done anything interesting recently. 168. Safety It’s also sometimes puffoon. Whid is a cant word meaning “to speak or tell” or “to lie.” So this phrase for breaking wind literally means “buttock speaks.”, An Australian term for fart that, according to Green’s, debuted in the Barry McKenzie comic strip. Butt bleat According to Green’s, this is a prison slang term from the ‘80s for “a silent but foul-smelling fart,” helpfully noting that “the fart slides from the rim of the anus.” (Emphasis, it must be said, is Green's.). Don't you wish they made a clap on clap off device for some peoples mouths? Colonic calliope, 61. We've compiled some the best deals out there on tech, computers, and kitchen appliances so you don't have to waste your time browsing. 185. Sounds like a wompus cat Turd hooties Flatus 121. Children are like farts. Over the course of history, the human race has come up with many delightfully creative ways to describe the act of breaking wind. This word, meaning “to fart,” dates back to the 15th century. Poof This word, which originated in the 16th century, originally meant “to defecate.” But by the mid-17th century, fizzle (also spelled fisle) had acquired an additional meaning: to fart. Just calling your name Have you seen that new movie Constipated? HUMrrhoids A 1920s term for an open-topped car, and also an early ‘70s Australian term for a fart. 9. Blast the chair Q: What's the difference between Mozart and Mr. Methane? 118. 171. When someone asks you if you know what time it is, say yes and walk away. 201. 1. Exterminate Rectal honk 224. Horse and Cart, Raspberry Tart, Hart and Dart, and D’Oyley Carte are all ways to say fart, many originating in England. According to Green’s, “an instance of breaking wind.”. 46. Fragrant fuzzy 10. 148. 144. But most importantly, farting is just funny. "Stop Making Me So Interested In You, I'm Trying To Be Aloof So You Think I'm Cool" If in doubt, just … 62. Brown horn brass choir Shoppin’ at Wal-Fart 225. 157. Moon gas Salute your shorts, 204. 236. 39. Thunder pants Fart, MORE : Police gave this K-9 dog the perfect tribute on his deathbed, 86. Thunderspray Let a beefer, 146. Fowl howl Mating call of the barking spider Fumigate Because sailors usually received orders from shouting supervisors, talking amongst themselves was discouraged. 239. 79. If so, let us know by emailing us at bigquestions@mentalfloss.com. Butt trumpet It is only natural and this song explains why we all need to fart! Of course it always depends who asks, but go ahead and vote for what you think is the best snarky comeback. 84. If you are that embarrassed about it, you can always blame it on me. Cheesin’ 231. Well, you're in luck. Since sailors could congregate around the fountain, it became a place to finally catch up and exchange gossip, making scuttlebutt synonymous with casual conversation. Venting one Rectal shout, MORE : This Twitter account will rate your toast and abuse you for free, 190. Even if you turn into an old gnarly fart, no one cares what you look like if you write good songs - the only gig is to sing well and perform. 67. Hole flapper Welcome to the wonderful world of rhyming slang! Dropped a bomb Panty burp 216. was heard to say, “You don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to.” So, while we offer advice on fart filtering underwear and other flatulence solutions, we also bring you this delightful list of … Triple flutter blast Chancing a fart when you know you have diarrhea. It includes Fart Jokes for kids, teens and adults. Pant stainer 155. The cask was known as a butt, while scuttle was taken from the French word escoutilles and means hatch or hole. Anal acoustics Bottom burp Bodily functions are funny! The likely culprit is your love for spicy food, which btw might be the secret to a longer … Everyone loves witty jokes. You get older and come to the conclusion that it's a great gig making music. Plotcher (aka a wet one … bad form, points taken off for emmitting one of these) 105. https://spoonuniversity.com/lifestyle/what-do-your-farts-say-about-you 125. 44. 195. 97. Bun shaker 140. 116. Flatulate Frequency Actuated Rectal Tremor Pop, 181. Stink bomb Explosion between the legs Nautical technology made the scuttlebutt obsolete, but the term endured, becoming a catch-all word for unfounded rumors. 35. 147. According to Green’s, this phrase for farting relates to ”the pronounced odor of certain cheeses,” and the Oxford English Dictionary dates oral usage back to 1959. Stink Burger, 227. Mean people are everywhere, and all it takes is one nasty comment to ruin the whole day. 13. Here are the 261 words for fart. Sounds like a barking spider Sign up online for more information of Best Price Funny Things Dogs Would Say And Blowing you a kiss 75. A: He fell in love with a fart. Anal audio 241. Let one fly 27. 245. 152. Set off an SBD Release an ass buscuit 80. 21. 81% Upvoted. Trouser trumpet Freep 95. I’m going to be a father soon and I am keenly aware of the many responsibilities that entails, including enriching the life of my son or daughter. 170. Similarly, Bazzbull says, "Speak … Why is it that the sound of a fart can be so funny. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. Butt percussion 187. Save yourself time by reading the best collection of jokes. 16 comments. 251. 162. If you have to fart in a room full of strangers, have fun with it. The gluteal tuba Farting is one of those, remaining relatively innocuous, harmless, and thus, funny. 133. 200. Leave a gas trap Jet propulsion Firing scud missiles 77. Gas master, 113. Preventing Spontaneous Human Combustion (South Park) We hope these funny sayings made you laugh, if you are looking for similar content for more fun, take a look at our Funny Quotes or Funny Jokes. This are most funny babies and baby fails. 50. 110. Exercising the meat nozzle (not sure if this one doesn’t belong in a different category) Play the tuba Blow ass Ass biscuit 138. Posted By Tbinns on Sep 8, 2010 | 6 comments. 246. Trelblow 255. Funny sayings about old age will help you see the humorous side of things! What smell? Prove it 177. 233. Let's hear 'em! 47. Break wind Floof Silent but deadly (SBD), 212. Lay an air biscuit 228. Crowd splitter Posted by 6 years ago. Farting is always funny. Fart jokes call out something that everyone does — but tries to hide. 137. Crack splitters 229. Butt tuba, 57. Spit a brick 8. 153. There are apparently 261 slang terms for the action of farting in the English language. Anal salute Lethal cloud 66. The dog did it From regional terms to old-timey phrases, here are 25 ways to say fart that you should work into conversation whenever toots come up. Farting is part of the universal human experience. Gravy pants 34. 119. 20. 90. 173. 104. Crop dusting (surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust) 18. Rip ass Squeeker Invert a burp Mine sounded like the tunes played by the aliens in Close Encounter of the Third Kind. (The average person toots 14 times per day, in case you were wondering.) Hole flappage 89. People say love is the best feeling ever. A: A bird’s fart. 247. This article contains affiliate links to products selected by our editors. Fluffy Jumping guts Made a gas blast Burning Farts. Flamer Breath of fresh air Better open a window 139. 5. 42. Even if you already took advantage of sales during Black Friday or Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday still has plenty to offer, especially on Amazon. 208. 196. Squeeze cheese is another delightful phrase, seemingly born of the internet, meaning “To fart, flatulate loudly.”. Laugh and the world laughs with you. An Irish slang term for a fart from the mid-1960s. Flatulence So – it’s impossible to fart silently if you shave your asshole. Bad sprinkling, MORE : You’ll want to buy everything from this boob-themed shop, 23. Quack The Dutch won’t tell you to own up to consequences…they’ll say “when you burn your butt, you need to sit on the blisters” (Wie zijn billen brandt, moet op de blaren zitten). New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Face it, no matter what you say, there are some bodily functions that are just funny. 117. 2. The Dutch don’t compliment the chef…they’ll say “it’s like an angel is peeing on my tongue” ( Alsof er een engeltje over je tong piest ).